At the virgin girl staring back at me.My virginity. Seems so ridiculous that I care about it, I thought. I'm not "saving myself" for anybody. So why do I feel like this has to MEAN anything? Am I expecting him to tell me he loves me? Would it make a difference if I was in love with him? AM I in love with him? "Who cares," I whispered to the girl in the mirror. "You'll be lucky if he even LIKES you when he finds out you have no idea what the fuck you're doing."It's probably going to hurt."So stay in here and get all misty-eyed. Keep your stupid virginity and tell CJ you'll call him when you grow up," I told the pathetic child looking at me.I turned the knob, chiseled a weak smile on my face, and slowly stepped out of the bathroom. I felt my eyes betraying my lack of confidence, so I avoided looking directly at CJ's face. He may have read my mind, or perhaps CJ is truly an intuitive person. But as soon as I began making my way back over to the bed, he righted himself and walked across. I was pulling for Jack to have a great start and pitch a complete game. The game was scoreless into the fourth inning. Then a LaGrange batter slapped a grapefruit flair that landed ten yards in front of me and I scooped it up and halted him at first. Jack had a rare lapse in concentration and walked the next batter. With no one out and two runners on, I didn’t dare look into the dugout. I would not give Coach Harris the opportunity to call me in for long relief. Jack got a strike out and then a fly out, putting us in good position to get out of the inning without damage. The very next batter put on a suicide bunt with both runners going and a bobbled throw from our catcher, James Baldwin, loaded the bases. The next batter in the LaGrange order was their best hitter, Rocky Richardson. With the initials “RR” someone got the bright idea to call him “Train”. Train had been smoking the stat sheets, batting close to .450 against the weak pitching in the eastern state league. I.
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